Over the past couple of days I’ve been really thinking about time. Time is relative. The seconds continue to tick at the same pace, and has since the function of time began. With that said, sometimes it appears that time moves faster than others, and that time has flown by.
I think of the faces in my life. It only seems like yesterday I was throwing my nephew up in the air and watching his toothless smile spread across his cheeks. Now he’s an awesome teenager who is taller than I am. I’ve been with S.O. for over a decade. This is my tenth year out of high school, five years out of university.
I have met amazing people over the course of this time. There are people who are still in my heart despite the fact that we are no longer as close as we use to be. People have been brought into my life, and people have been taken away. I take what my experiences and the people in my life have taught me over the years and use my knowledge every day to make the easy and tough choices.
There are times we all think of our past and say we would like to forget what happened. Forget about the bad and concentrate on the present to make a better future.
There are things in my past that, at times, I wish I could forget. I wish I could take back what I said or what I did. It’s easy to wish that you could forget. Those memories that are too painful to bear, to even speak of out loud. When those memories do pop up it’s almost as though you are back there. Reliving the pain over and over until that memory is tainted with nothing but sadness, remorse, shame, guilt or hatred. You come to hate everything associated with that memory and try to distance yourself as far away from the source as you can. Whether it’s a place, song, or person, it’s hard to bring yourself to feel anything but anger or sadness.
So the idea to put all of that in the past and forget… it sounds wonderful doesn’t it? To never think of it again. Never having to deal with the issues; the memories will fade away as many memories have a tendency to do. Right?
Sure it’s a great idea, but not a very realistic one. No matter how much you distance yourself from the source it will come back. The bad memories will surface and keep bringing you down unless you take the time to decipher why this memory really affects you and why you keep coming back to it. Why does this memory have such a hold on you?
Your experiences, no matter how happy or sad, happened. It isn’t as easy to forget as we would like to think. You never know what will cause these memories to come back up to the surface after years of trying to forget or trying to repress the emotions. And as quick as pulling a trigger, you become consumed by the memory.
You have given that memory a power over you that you never been able to conquer. That memory becomes the reason you never seek closure. That memory becomes the reason why you have held yourself back all of this time from doing what you truly want. That memory stops you from being YOU!
I’m not saying forgive and move on. There are some people who perhaps never deserve forgiveness. But set yourself free from the hold that they have on you. Take back that power that you have given them and use it as your strength to move into the future. Take what this memory has taught you and apply it to making the most of right now. The person that caused you pain may not deserve your forgiveness, but you deserve closure.
Time, it’s going to continue forward no matter how we spend it. We will continue to get older and it goes too fast to keep your thoughts in the past. So that terrible experience happened. Yes. It was perhaps even traumatic. But you cannot continue to let these memories control your life and your actions. Use that experience as fuel to make sure it doesn’t happen to you or anyone else again. Don’t let it freeze you as time continues to go ahead.
Like Simba learns in The Lion King, eventually you have to face what you’re running from. You can’t just put the past behind you as easily as you would like it to be. You have to fight the demons head on in your life and conquer those obstacles. Whether those are external or inside your mind, don’t let them stop you from being who you want to be.
It won’t be easy. It will be painful and will take a lot of practice to fight the demons. There are still demons in my life I still haven’t faced head on due to fear of the consequences. The dark passenger still lives inside me, feeding me lies that I’ve been hearing for years and years. These lies have been confirmed by my past experiences, so it’s hard to not believe them. It’s so hard to shut the dark passenger up.
To the people that are the cause of those bad memories or experiences, imagine their faces and tell them that they have no hold on your life anymore. To the bullies, abusers, heart breakers, or anyone who has ever made you feel less than awesome, scream it in their faces that they hurt you, they broke you, but you’re mending yourself despite their tries to keep you broken. They do not have power over you anymore! To that dark passenger that is inside you, yell at him to shut up (my dark passenger is male… dunno why… haha).
Set yourself free of the shackles that you have around your heart. Time is going too quickly to let the past hold us back from being awesome. Take the good and the bad experiences of the past to polish the present so you can fight the obstacles that are to come. Bravery is not fighting for the sake of fighting; bravery is fighting despite the fear inside your heart.
So, this is where I bid you adieu.
Cheers and Stay Smiling