Hi Everybody! Here’s DumbOptimist to dish out a few words.
Aaliyah and Timbaland’s Try Again has been playing in my head the last couple of days. Not so much the story of the song, which is a girl telling a guy not to give up on her so easily. The premise of the song is pretty simple. However the chorus has been playing over and over in my mind and it’s starting to sound like a broken record.
Hence, this post being appropriately named after the song!
This has actually inspired me to combine two topics into one for this particular post. I actually had a few moments during story time at work to actually come up with an outline for tonight’s blog, which is something I never do. I generally just wing it! I know! I’m quite trusting of my first draft…
A line from another song has been playing in my head as well. The Rolling Stone’s You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Just Mick Jagger saying “You can’t always get what you want” has been ringing through my ears for a while now. The lesson that, indeed, you can’t always get what you want, is one I learned quite young. My parents spoiled me, yes. However it wasn’t with material possessions. I wasn’t really forced to complete chores with the exception of washing or drying dishes. With that said, I never had the latest toys or fashion trends. I learned really early in life that if I asked for these things there was no guarantee that my parents heard me that alone actually took into consideration to buy me these items. A lot of the items I had I purchased generally from birthday money or money from my grandparents (again, never expected) when I would visit them. Most of my books I purchased growing up were through school book orders and some were purchased with more coins than bills. But the main moral that comes to me that I learned growing up is that you can’t always get your own way.
This is a lesson that I have taken with me throughout my life. I know that I can’t always get what I want. With that said, and this is something that I haven’t really explored but I want to, I question if, because I have this moral, if this is why I have stopped myself from jumping in and trying. “Ripping off that bandage” so to speak. I can’t get what I want so why bother?
It’s a question that lately I really have been struggling with. Do I settle because I somewhere in my psyche believe that I can’t get what I want so that’s why I don’t put 110% into what I truly want to do. Is this why I settle? I know I suffer from a fear of failure, but perhaps a large part of that goes back to me “knowing” that I can’t have what I want. It’s almost hindered me from actually prioritizing what I actually want because, somewhere inside of me, I feel that I can’t have it anyway. Somehow, in my mind, I don’t deserve what I want.
But there is a thrill to success. Even on a small scale little victories really make a difference. For example, I won all of my pool matches last week so much that I went up in rank this week. I have passed my training assessments at work with flying colors. My issue is that I perhaps discount my accomplishments.
We’re always our own worst critic. The things our inner voices say to ourselves are never things we would say out loud to our friends and family. It’s hard to stop the tears from what I would say to myself that alone actually say it out loud about someone else to their face. It would be absolutely mean and horrible. So what makes it okay to say about ourselves? It really isn’t okay.
The thing is, nothing will change unless you try to change it. It’s the law of motion.
Yes! I am throwing some science at ya! But it’s science. If you never do anything to impact a change, nothing will change. If you are standing still there needs to be something to trigger a reaction. If you are gliding through life in the general motions without speeding up or stopping, you can fall into the trap of the familiar. You can’t be scared to kick the ball, or create the momentum to try to score the goal. This general law of physics can definitely, in a strange sense, be applied to the idea behind trying.
Sure, you may miss the goal. There are many obstacles that are stopping you from kicking the ball in the net. But you have to try. Without trying there cannot be any learning. If you learn something new right away, that is amazing. Obviously, there is a fear of failure, but when you fail you can learn another tactic to tackle that opponent the next time you come up against them. If you fail, you can tweak your strategy and try again. Next time you may get that ball in the net and that success is so rewarding! Failure is a fantastic teacher.
So, back to Aaliyah, you fall down or don’t succeed, take a breath, dust yourself off, and give it another go. Keep going until you get what you want, or at least learn to change the your point-of-view to reconstruct that definition. Once you try for what you want you may either want it more, or you may realize that it really wasn’t for you. Time to reconstruct what you thought you wanted and decipher what you truly want.
So kick that ball, try your best and fight for what you want.
Cheers and Stay Smiling!