I foresee a busy week in my future. This is why I though I would write tonight instead of waiting until Tuesday, a.k.a, the day I go back to the dentist.
I’ve been dealing with some issues this past couple of weeks. Some of those naturally resolved themselves, some others, well… not so easy. My family and close friends have been here for me and supporting me through this bittersweet time. And my partner, as per usual, has been above and beyond amazing through this past month.
Well, this is the first time in my ten years of working that I have had to deal with being let go of a job position. I was let out of my full-time job position during my probation for no larger reason than “I’m just not feeling it.”
Truthfully, I was not “feeling it” either. The position was one that I wasn’t enjoying, as my readers know, and I really wasn’t meshing with the staff as easily as I have in previous places of employment. However, it’s tough to have to think of my financial situation right before the holidays. It was terrible timing all over. This position didn’t really come with a lot of structure, I felt more lost than anything else while I was there.
Despite this tough time, I know that this dismissal was a blessing in disguise. It is giving me time to decide what I actually want to do and accomplish. It’s the first time since, well, June 2012 that I haven’t been working a full-time job. It’s giving me more time to work on me. I have been catching up on some things that I’ve been procrastinating (you should see my DVD/BluRay collection… so organized!).
I have been applying for jobs over the past two weeks without much luck. I did have a job interview that I haven’t heard anything back from yet. However, I have been getting a couple of more hours at my part-time job which is definitely been helpful.
It is always tough for me to stay optimistic. At this particular time, it has been excruciatingly painful. Like I said in my last blog, my fear is feeding my feelings. When I try to keep an optimistic mindset there are always negative thoughts attacking them. I’ve been thinking negative thoughts for so long that positive thoughts just sound fake in my head.
So I keep telling myself that this is for the greater good.
And I keep repeating this to myself. And I truly believe that it is. Deep down. It is for the best. This optimism thing still feels really fake to me, but at the same time, there is always shades of gray in all scenarios.
So it is now time to bid you adieu.
Cheers and Stay Smiling!