Yesterday my partner and I celebrated ten years together as a couple. I know relationships where people met, got married, had children, and have broken up during in that span of time. As I have mentioned in past blogs, people question our relationship. They ask if we are making plans to get married and have kids. They question how in the world I could be with the same person for that length of time.
You truly do not know someone until you see them at their worse and how they handle it. Over the last ten years, my partner and I have experienced our share of struggles, but we have overcome them and are stronger for it. We have had moments where it seemed that there was no light at the end of the tunnel, where everything around us was dark. We’ve both have had to be strong for each other.
My partner has been dealing with my struggle with depression pretty much since the beginning. It has only been over the last year or two that I have been seeking help. He is always trying to lift me up, telling me that I am amazing and strong. He reminds me of the triumphs that I have achieved and the obstacles that I have slayed. He gives me encouragement to continue to seek help; to work towards becoming better.
I try to keep my blog about myself. I am what I know, and I am also what I’m trying to figure out in the grand scheme of things.
But my partner, he has had his share of demons in his past. Ones that mine can never compare to. However, his optimism and his belief that things will get better, though irritating at times, is strong. I really wish that some of that optimism could rub off on me a little more.
How did we get to 10 years?
- Compromise – taking the time to learn about each other’s interests, despite how much they annoy you. For example, I know more things about wrestling, hockey, and RoosterTeeth than I ever wanted. He indulges my love for Disney animation films and plays. We actually watched Lady and the Tramp last night.
- Common Interests – No, I don’t mean to contradict my last bullet. My partner and I pride ourselves on our love for movies and it’s something that we continue to enjoy together as a couple. Going back to compromising, he doesn’t really watch many rom-coms with me, and I don’t watch too many of the Stallone movies with him, but sometimes, we will watch them together.
- Friends – I know it sounds cliché, but my partner and I are best of friends. We enjoy spending time together, watching movies, heading to the park, even just silently keeping up with the world through social media together.
- Giving each other space to be an individual – Perhaps with this one I can come off as an hypocrite. Do I love spending time with my partner? Yes! Am I peeved when on our rare days off together he makes plans to do other things? Yes! But, I can’t be too mad. I want him to be social, hang out with his friends without me cramping his style. And he wants the same for me. He never holds me back from doing something if he can’t. For example, he couldn’t make it to Our Lady Peace with me, so I went with some friends and had a good time. We do try to include each other in what we do, but there is never a strong pressure to actually comply (unless it’s Pokemon Go)
- Fighting Tooth and Nail for each other – Supporting each other no matter how bleak the situation is, from sickness, death, financial strain, overall fighting for a life together.
- And Accepting Each Other Despite our Flaws and Quips – My partner snores. I am no domestic housewife with a perfect home and a great cook. I like beer, my partner detests alcohol in all forms. I curse like a sailor, he doesn’t curse at all. (Obviously I have the flaws, he has the quips) but we work it out, accepting each other for who we are.
So, what does love have to do with it? Obviously, it has a large influence, but really working together, accepting each other, and supporting each other, to me, that is the best way to show love, the real definition of what love is.