Today was a beautiful sunny day. Cold, but nice and sunny. Then I went to work…
When I left work, there was snow and blustering winds. So now I am in the comforts of the devil… a.k.a. Wendy’s where I have ordered a giant baconator and caesar salad. And I took my laptop knowing full well that I would have this time before pool to gale readers in my word vomit before going to lose at pool.
Today we said goodbye to one of our managers at work that I have become fond of throughout her time with us. It was nice to have someone around who caught on to my obscure pop culture references over the last few months. Now she is moving out of the city, hopefully to bigger and better things.
It’s scary to leave what you know. It’s scary to say “I need help. I can’t go on like this anymore so I must do what I can for me.” At times I think to myself why in the hell am I doing this when internally it is literally making me sick to my stomach. There has been moments where I have been fighting the nausea to the point where it’s making me dizzy. But my partner has been sending me this photo to help get me through the day:
I know it’s super silly, but it is a reminder of those that I have in my back corner. And lately I really need that reminder. I am an extrovert trapped in an introvert’s body. It’s tough to see others who adapt to their surroundings so easily. When I make the effort to make plans with someone (with the exception of my partner, he is stuck with me… muhahaha) it’s me putting myself out there, putting my fear of rejection aside and trying to be myself. I’m not shy by no means but I am fearful of letting people in. I’m awkward and I joke about myself constantly. If people see the mask and see that I am not worried about what they think they will leave me alone. Little do they know I am actually joking about things that I am most insecure about and deep beliefs that I do have.
So my words of advice for today, let the people in your life know how much you care about them. Sometimes all they need is to know you got their back. You never know who has on a mask that is as fragile as a china doll face. For example, you don’t know who is rushing to their purse of backpack for their anxiety medication. Or you don’t know who is locking themselves in a bathroom to try to get a grip on their emotions. You also have no idea who is looking at their bank statements and wondering how exactly they are going to make it to their next paycheque. Or whose family members are ill and their hearts are with them. Everyone has a story that is more than what’s in front of them. Even a smile can go a long way.
So my teammates are texting me and I must scarf down this burger before I get going so I must bid you adieu!
Cheers from DO at the Wendy’s!