I spent the day working and hanging out with my cousin. We were fairly close as kids so when he visits the city we typically try to get together and see a movie. It was nice to catch up with him and hear about his family. He has two handsome little boys who seem to have grown up in the blink of an eye.
I notice how fast time has gone when I see how big my niece and nephews have grown. When my friends and family has grown bigger and their kids have grown bigger and older. I can’t believe that I have been living in Sin Jawns for almost 9 years. That time has seemed to fly by. In those nine years I have completed a degree and a diploma from MUN, I have kept a relationship, I have my handsome little kitty in my life, but most of all, I have been surviving.
In the words of Dory
There has been times that swimming has been exhausting. My muscles have become tired, my eyes have become dry from staying awake so much so that they start to water. There has been a lot of times that I have just floated on my back and drifted through and closed my eyes to what was around me. That is my defense mechanism. To drift through and let the waves wash over me.
It is easier said than done to continue to swim. The scary thing is when the tide becomes rough and floating doesn’t work anymore. There is that panic as the water begins to take control. The water pulls you down and covers your mouth, your nose; your lungs fill with a burning sensation as you begin to choke for the air, choke for life.
That panic… It’s almost the storm before the calm. Either you do one of two things. You fight and swim for safety, or you calm and let the storm take you over. You won’t always have someone who is willing to jump into the water after you.
I am lucky. Not even lucky, just very grateful that I have an amazing person in my life who is foolish enough to jump in and try to save me. Obviously the fear that he won’t always be there is with me. So this is why I am trying to learn all the safety precautions so I can take care of myself. I can keep swimming! I can stay strong! I can work towards keeping myself afloat!
I envy those who have their faith. My faith has hit the wall, so to speak. The concept of faith is amazing. I wish I could give my heart and soul to faith and know that this life is worth everything. However, as the cynic I have become, I know that you have to have faith in yourself. The only thing that can limit your potential is… well… you! I know I am limiting myself. I am trying to unlock my potential. I want to unlock my potential. I want to strive to be the best I can be.
So for now, I will keep swimming, even if sometimes it feels like I’m swimming up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick
So, now the night must come to a close so I must bid you adieu. Cheers! And keep swimming!