Help! I’m trapped!

According to a quick Google search, an introvert is someone whose motives and actions are directed inward. Introverts tend to keep to themselves,  prefer small groups, and think before they speak.  Extroverts are those who express themselves outwards.  They enjoy big crowds and perhaps are more open with their feelings.

However, I had some time waiting around after my match last night at pool to find a not so scientific quiz on this subject. The link is below if you would like to try it. According to this quiz,  I am an ambivert, I am the “best of both worlds” So to say. 

http://www.quietrev.com/the-introvert-test/

However, I find that the older I get, the more I am showing introvert tendencies. Growing up it wasn’t that I didn’t want to hang out with people, I just felt they didn’t want to hang out with me. Perhaps that is a belief that I continue to have. I never picked up the phone to call anyone to hang out. There were times that even if someone would ask me to hang out after school I would continue to walk home just to see if they even remembered asking me to hang out. 

Now that has turned into this human who has absolutely no idea how to initiate an outing.  I even feel awkward asking my good friend of 20 years if she wants me to visit due to fear that she really doesn’t. 

I feel that I am am extrovert trapped in an introvert’s body.  When push comes to shove, I do want to be me.  I love crowds and I want to express myself. But anxiety and the fear of rejection has locked me into these introverted tendencies. 

Well made it to work.

Cheers

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