I can come up with so many excuses for my lack of motivation. I work three jobs and don’t have time to do things such as exercise, clean, cook, and so on. However, I could be doing some of these things rather than playing Candy Crush or watching The Simpsons. (Yes… I am still watching new episodes of The Simpsons, can’t stop supporting something I have loved for so long).
But right now, I just want to sit back and veg. But once I look around and see the things I could have done or should have done, I feel lousy.
One thing I learned in my Coping with Depression group that I attended this fall however, is that should is a negative word that should be deleted from my vocabulary. There is a reason why I want to veg rather than do housework or exercise. I am tired. My energy goes into smiling at work and grinning and bearing it that at the end of the day my energy is zapped. I am trying to work out a nice balance of it all. But when I get home, all I want to do is sleep.
So rather than harping on what I should do, I am trying to say, yes, I am tired. I have been working 13 hours today and obviously I have used a lot of energy throughout the day. It is tough to keep going and do house work as well. The housework will be there when I am ready to do it. Right now though, my body is screaming at me that it is tired and needs to rest. There is no reason to feel guilty for giving into that feeling. Watch some TV, veg out until bed. Tomorrow is the start of a new day.
I just need to plan. However, know that the plan can change and having to adapt to these changes is key. I have the plan to reintroduce the gym back into my routine and hope to keep it. I know how awesome I feel after I go, I know the benefits, I just have to keep those things in mind when I am thinking about the gym.
So, how does one find the motivation? Thinking of the payoff.
Diet & Exercise: Typically I feel healthier, more energized, and perhaps may loose some inches in the process.
Chores: Typically I feel a sense of accomplishment even getting little things completed throughout the week.
Remembering these feelings and keeping the thoughts realistic rather than unfathomable or negative is where I have to keep my mindset.
Even just blogging helps me see my feelings and rereading the words can become inspiring.
So tomorrow, I’m thinking of heading to the gym BEFORE work… I know! BEFORE!! I am going to find my gym clothes tonight and pop them away before I go to bed and have them ready to grab in the morning. Make it so much harder for me to say no in the morning. Whatever I can do.
But, if it doesn’t happen I can’t let myself feel lousy about it. I don’t want to continue procrastinating the gym visits, but feeling down about it doesn’t help me. I just know that I feel so much better after working out and I want to have that feeling.
So to recap:
1) There is no reason to feel guilty for having an off day. Shake it off, take the time to veg if you need to.
2) Try to remember the reason that you are working towards this healthier lifestyle. I have many reasons from genetic disposition to disease both physical and mental and whatever I can do now that can offset me from getting sick I will do it to just wanting to be able to walk into a store and try on clothes and not feel anxious about my body.
3) As for the procrastination, you know that past experience has shown you the outcomes. In my case, doing laundry or washing dishes means that I will have clean clothes and dishes. Cleaning out my closet means I will have more space for new clothes and I will be able to donate things I and the boyfriend do not wear anymore.
So, I hope that my journey is either keeping you entertained at the very least. So it’s time to call it a night. I will let you know if I actually make it to the gym.
This is where I bid you adieu.